Blog No. 39.

Sorry I haven't written for a couple of days its been due to my Internet being down and not me being lazy. I am currently in the hospital starting my third cycle. Today is the intravenous chemo. so four and a half hours of chemicals being pumped into my system. Not fun actually ita the worse part as you cant comfortable, it kind of hurts and its so boring.

I had my check up yesterday and was giving devastating news. They want to give my another 4 cycles of chemo straight after this that's an extra 12 weeks which would mean 30 weeks of chemo. And the longest the cancer will go away for is a year at the most. But more than likely a few months.

The more I have the chemo the more resistant my cancer will become as its genetic. I also have been given 2 to 3 years live. Mind blowing. The reason for this is is because I will stop chemo after these cycles as I cant live I am not living at the moment and the chemo won't give me that much longer anyways.

I feel its useless fighting a loosing battle and unhappy. Who wants to die unhappy certainly not me. I have 3 years to fit everything I want to do into my life. I want to bring people joy and don't want you to cry or be upset because I am at peace with my decision.

Weird eh?

Anyway I am being pumped full horrible chemicals and cant feel my right hand.

My though of the day?

Don't mourn the dead for they are still alive.

Peace love and more peace.

xx