Friday, 16 July 2010

Blog No. 81.

So I have just realised that I am 3 months into what was basically given in not so many words a 6 month life sentence. It's strange as apparently in 3 months poof and I go up in a big explosion of purple glitter, and enter the next plane. Well F**k you as I am getting better and stronger, and there's no way I shall be gone for a long time, and that's not me being brave it's how I actually feel inside.

I now have a new set back. My right lung/rib is in agony. I literally feel like I have been kicked by a horse then beating up with by baseball bats after. I can hardly breath in and can hardly move my right arm, the pain goes right up into my neck and even the morphine I am on isn't making a difference.

So I am waiting to see if I can be admitted into the Marie Curie hospice for a few days to be looked at and looked after in a nicer environment than a hospital. It's a hospital but a bit more like a hotel. My fingers are still numb and so are the soles of my feet so I don't know if any of this is related. I hope there's something that can be done and quickly as I don't really want to become a prisoner of pain again.

Just when I was doing really well too. But this is just a little set back and I am not really worried about it being something major. I am sure I will be right as rain in a few days but i just want this pain to go away. But most of all these numb fingers they're making it a trifle hard to actually type.

I am going to go and pack my hospital bag and smile smile smile as they say. Kind of short and sweet today, almost like me except I am tall and mean GRRrrrr!!!

So my thought of the day is...

Fox's Viennese bisckwits or Giant cookies?

Peace love and crumbs in bed!!!


  1. Paul, you might be tall but you're so not mean!
    You gave us a great 'last party at Bloc' and if I may say, you handle your pain very gracefully. BTW, every time I play your cd, I'm bouncing off the ceiling - a VERY thoughtful gift indeed…
    So, numb thumbs or not, this blog is tremendous. Can't believe the NHS won't provide you with a secretary… (LOL!) Surely there must be a Barbara Cartland fund or some such so you can recline on a chaise eating grapes whilst an expert typist records your memoirs! - Heck, I'll do it for you P!
    Peace, love, painkillers… and Fox's Viennese!
    Marina x

  2. awh hahhaha baby thank you i had to bow down gracefully i am in this hospice and a lot has happened so I better get typing I guess xxxx

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