Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Blog No. 77.

I am still on the up. I keep expecting to go down a little, but I am staying where I am just now, which is good. I manage to get out for a wee while on a day then get tired out for one, then another to rest. But at last I am managing to get out, even if it is just for half an hour. I am also managing to get out of bed for a wile each day just at home which a few weeks I couldn't do as could hardly lift my head up.

It's also great no longer finding having a bath or a shower a chore, and having one every three days when I totally stink. I am also managing to keep my room tidier which makes a huge difference, I am washing my bedsheets as I type this. So I guess all in all I am making an improvement. I am feeling good within myself now too where as before I was starting to hate being alive as felt like I was suffering too much.

I am still very restricted, but I am not bothered too much by what I can't do and just happy that I am able to just do again. I have a friend visiting me tomorrow from Australia, Amanda. I haven't seen her in so long so will be nice to see her for a couple of hours. My friend and old flatmate from London is also visiting me on Sunday which I am excited for.

Funny how London now seems like a distant memory and I have settled back into Glasgow life. It took a few months and at first it was so hard. I had left my life at the time behind down there and I now am very happy to stay in Glasgow. I have my boyfriend Chris which I have waited all my life for here.

I owe him so much, he is the main reason it's been so easy to get used to my life here as he brings me so much joy and happiness. He also looks after me which I know must be hard for him, and also my sister as I am a lot of work as even though feeling better I find somethings hard to do. Like going to the shop and cooking even tidying up properly.

I don't expect these things to be done for me but, I get help and I do as much as I can. But having the help makes my life so much easier. It is also nice to know that you're being looked after it is a nice feeling.

My appetite is returning very slowly, I am managing to eat a dinner from time to time, I pick and snack quite a lot during the day too. I have also been put onto tablets to stimulate my appetite today which will kick in soon. So soon I will be eating meals for four and be a size 30 in the waist hahaha.

I am still shocked by how thin I have got, and the how small the kids clothes actually are that I am now wearing. Especially when I look at my normal sized clothes which weren't exactly big in the first place. But I am getting used to being this size, and have been told it is unlikely I will gain much weight but main thing is to not to loose anymore.

Since I mentioned donating money to Marie Curie and MacMillan cancer charities I am pleased to know that various people are donating old clothes, time, money and even awareness to these places. That means so much to me and replaces my faith in the human nature. I would like to say thank you on behalf of these two great organisations. As I said before I would be so lost and alone without them. So THANK YOU!!!

My thought for today is...

The only way is up!!!

Peace Love and Rising like a Phoenix


  1. Read about you in the Guardian and wish you all the best. I hope you keep on the up!

  2. Hi Paul,
    Came here via your dishy pic in the Guardian and am very glad I did - you write brilliantly! Look forward to lots more, and wishing you lots of love,

  3. hi guys thanks so much for your comments and reading the piece.

    wendy i feel right now the only way is up

    and clare

    thank you for your comment on my writing it can take me a while to get out what i am saing but i dont think too much about it while i do it, thank you for your comments means a lot to me