Yesterday I found out that the chemo hasn't been effective and that the cancer has advanced even further, everything has basically gotten bigger. I asked what does that mean, how long do I have left to live and the response was simply and devastatingly, "Months". He then said there maybe other channels I can go down but need to take a month off treatment first.
My sister was with me and seeing her upset like that has broken my heart. I have passed the news on to as many people as I could face last night and every time I told someone it was like a little piece of me was crushed. So if this is how you find out then I am sorry but I couldn't tell anymore people.
It's strange as I feel fine, not amazing as still hardly eating and have a sore back, but I feel fine, definitely not like I am dying at all. I know you will all tell me that doctor's get it wrong and people live for years. I know all this I haven't had my head buried in the sand all my life. I do believe I can be one of these people. So please if you see me out or talk to me don't tell me all this cliche stuff. And I do know first hand that doctors get it wrong it all the time.
My life is in the hands of the God's as they say. I will leave it down to fate and spend this month off trying to get myself back to a fit enough state so I can battle on with this or be Strong enough to do whatever I decide to do.
I don't have anymore information on the in's and out's of it all or what my options are so please do not question me about it. I will let you know what I know when I know it.
The thought of the day is...
What would you do with the rest of your life if you knew you only had a short time left?
Peace love and God please help me!