Monday, 24 May 2010

blog No. 70.

I am so fed up pf feeling crappy and tired. It is beginning to take over my life and my mind. I am finding everything such a struggle and effort just now which is so hard and difficult. I just wish that when I next wake up I feel fine and dandy, but it doesn't work like that, which is quite sad. I have lost so much weight and look like a big of bones. I used to love food and eating, it was a passion of mine. Now I feel like food is such a battle ground for me. I kind of feel like I would be happy if I didn't need to eat again.

I had my birthday party on Saturday. I wish I was able to enjoy it more than I did, but due to lack of energy it was a struggle for me. I got some amazing gifts and cards and again I would like to thank you for them and thank you all for coming and dancing. It means a lot to me it really does.

I am starting to eat a bit more, I hope that this week my body shall start to repair to itself. I do not know how much longer I can go on like this. I feel like I am being tortured and I just want it to stop. This is no life, and not how I want to continue. But maybe now I am starting to eat I shall return to life but it will be a slow process.

I don't have to much to say other than another thank you to all of you who made Saturday so special and beautiful for me.

My thought of the day is...
Keep the music inside you and move to the beat.

Peace Love and Music,


  1. Paul, you modestly forgot to mention that you spent your birthday party playing an awesome [four hour!] set... just so us lot could dance our socks off - thank you!

    P.S. Great to read you've been able to start eating a little bit.

    Peace, love and friendship,
    Marina xx

  2. you still look beautiful & strong to me !

    Happy Birthday Paul !

    Hila xx

  3. thank you hila, and style your so sweet and cute, and again thank you again for the lovely gift