Blog No. 53.

First of all I shall talk about my appointment today. I didn't get the full results as the radiologist hadn't passed over the original CD ROM of my first scan. But he compared the notes. The cancer and tumour haven't shrunk, but remain the same. Not any worse but not any better. It was a bit of an anti climax but my colitis has gone, my bowel has gone back to it's normal size and the swelling and fluid from my liver has gone.

Basically my bits and bobs look normal. I was also told for sure the my life expectancy is between two to five years. So I now know I wont grow old and will save a fortune on face lifts. I genuinely don't feel sad about this as those of you who know me know I have lived a very full and fulfilling life. Just saddens me I will leave you all behind.

I want a fun funeral, know black and know hymns. I am not religious so don't want a run of the mill funeral. I want sparkle and glitter and indoor fire works. I want my music in my bin bag or coffin and vodka, sailor Jerry rum and Jack Daniels and want a leopard print coffin with a webcam.

Now to change the subject I had the night of stress from hell, which thankfully I can now laugh at. It's almost a sitcom situation. My sister and her boyfriend rolled in from the pub after a whole day alcohol drinking and cigarette smoking. That's usually annoying when your sobre, drunk people I mean. But the night before the most stressful day of my life I was raging.

They had witnessed a typical quiet fight in the pub involving bottles and knives and the police had locked down the pub. So had to listen to them rant loudly about it and I was ready to stab them myself. Then the fiasco happened. Claire's (my sister) boyfriend wanted to lock the flat door to feel safe and used my key. There's two locks on the door and we only use the top one which is what I have the key for, but he managed to use it to lock the bottom one which I have no idea how he managed to do so.

The door would not unlock as Claire's keys where in her bag which was in her boyfriends flat. I was freaking out at this point. We only have windows which open at the top and there narrow. The lock wouldn't unlock no matter what we done.

Steven (the B.F.) managed to undo the window in the bathroom and squeeze out. Still no idea how he fitted and went and got Claire's keys out his flat that crisis was over. But I told Claire I couldn't believe that she got drunk when I had such an important day. And she went crazy as drunk girls do we argued, but being Bro. and Sis. it's expecting from time to time and we always only fall out for five minutes.

I was so angry last night then my sleeping pills kicked in. And this morning we laughed so much about the nonsense the night before. It seems far fetched and if I wasn't there I wouldn't believe it But now it's funny and I something to hold over her head and cast up when I want something so it was worth it.

Today I bought new shoes there pure nice.

So my thought of the day is...

If you could lock someone in a cupboard who would it be and what would you do to them?

Peace, Love and two rotten hangovers (not mine)

xx