As you know i had a bit of dram at the doctors on Friday. But its been sorted out and they couldnt apologise enough. I also had my swine flu booster jab today. Not pleasant feels like being punched in the arm. Whilst in the waiting area I changed seat about six times. every time I moved someone else would sit next to me and be coughing. I would move to where there was loads of seats and each time they would sit right next to me. I thought how inconsiderate. So I had my gloves and scarves over mouth must've looked odd. with that and changing seat every 2 minutes.
Yesterday two of my very good friends came over to visit jo and kris. What a laugh we had making fun of jo, I wont say what about I think he had enough abuse for one day. Kris was very kind and gave me a copy of logic pro for my mac. Its a programme that allows you to make music. Its amazing and does so so much so now I have something to occupy my time and to phone kris up every 5 minutes and annoy him when i cant do something.
We had home made spaghetti bolgnaise home made by lovely glamorous assistant I mean sister claire. I feel exhausted today. Must have been too much excitement yesterday.
Being exhausted is starting to really get on my nerves. Its such a hard feeling to describe as its a tiredness without being tired enough to sleep. Just no energy and a great feeling of can't be bothered. I feel like I am forcing myself to do a lot of things but I need to do that otherwise I would do nothing at all. But its still hard getting used to doing nothing.
By the time I get energy back I am straight into chemo again. The joys of it all. I really wish I didn't have anymore to go when i start next week I will have 15 weeks left. Still a lot but a little less. I am hoping to get away in the summer to rest in the sun. Hopefully I wont have to do more chemo after this. I really think I would struggle with the thought of that. Continuing to live without living.
Its quite strange how normal my life can seem to me sometimes then I think or gt reminded that I am missing out on so much of the little things. One of my friends went to London and it was frustrating I wasn't there to take part in the fun. I really miss having fun. I will be honest I am not having fun at all just now and that's the one of the hardest things of this. If i was on the waltzers I would want to get off, but life's not a funfair just now and I cant get off.
Funny how i always talk about daft things like ice cream and waltzers. I must be 5 in the head. Oh well.
So today's thought is
salted popcorn or sugar?
peace love and roundabouts