blog No. 7.

I feel my last few entry's I havent really had so much to say. Its probably because I am not doing a huge of amount stuff at the moment.

It humbles to know how many people are reading this. I am shocked that today its over 1000 reads and only i started it a week ago.

well as i said yesterday was a day in the hospital. The highlight of my week haha. I met the doctors, nurses, chemists and psychologists all doing my care thers a team of about 11 or 12.

They are all nice people and you cna tell they care about what they are doing.

I cant go on enough about how good the care is at the beatson. It has the best reputation in europe for cancer care and the professor in charge of my care is a world authority in cancer care.

Also the macmillan charity do amazing work, they offer you help with expenses, so m,uch emotionall support and if you need nurses at home they provide that too. They have given loads of info on what to expect and advice how to deal with the side effects.

I am now back in glasgow for a few days staying with my big sister. She's a very good nurse and is looking after me very well. I need a lot of it just now so I am lucky i have people around me.

so yes I was also shown the images from the scans that where took in London. I was shown what the cancer looks like and where it has spread too. There's so much of it. its Millimetres away from my liver, which is also all inflamed. and its all through my abdomen. loads of big grey mass.

I now know what I am battling and its going to be a hell of a fight.

But I will fight it that's all i can do.

I also have some decisions to make as I may have to move back to Glasgow as the recovery time after chemo is a year. And as my spread is incurable I may need to keep going with chemo for a year. I need to be where I can be looked after but London is my home.

My life is there. My friends are there. And London's there.

Its so strange how 2 months ago I was living a normal life working, dj'ing partying and in one night its all changed.

I do feel like I've been robbed.

And I wonder if i will ever have my normal life again but I wont as I need to re-invent myself. Maybe Madonna does re-inventions for charity???

Some good happened today. My cousin louise got in touch. Its weird as a few people I have often thought about have come flying out of nowhere. Its nice having people you love in your life. its funny how when something happens you seem to pull everyone back together again. I for one is a believer in this.

Its now 12.30 so i need to go and force feed myself food so i can take the first dose of todays chemo.

I hope something exciting happens today so I can give you a thrilling read tomorrow

todays thought is...

how do you get the rain up onto the sky in the first place???

peace and ice cream

xx