Blog No. 14.

I managed to have on ok'ish nights sleep. I went to sleep early so woke up early. I am now nitrazepam. Its wonderful. It takes a while to send you to sleep but before it does for about an hour you feel nice and fuzzy. I feel very relaxed today.

Last night my very sweet and beautiful friend Rosie came to visit. She gave me lots of sweets and ice cream. Guess what I am now able to eat it and she brought me my favourite, Ben and Jerry's chocolate fudge brownie. I ate the whole tub and it was such a relief to get rid of that craving. She also brought a tub of hagen daazs (if that's how you spell it) pecan and toffee. That's still unopened. The feeling of relief was as good as when you are desperate for the toilet and get to go and you go ahhhhhh.

I am now out in the countryside visiting family for a few days. As soon as I arrived I went to my grandparents house and literally as soon as I arrived my grandfather who is quite ill took a seizure and has now been taking to hospital. We have been assured that he should be ok. But its a scary thing to witness. I don't seem to be able to avoid hospitals and nurses. I must be cursed.

I am in a good mood (apart from worrying about my pops) as I have one more dose of my chemo to take tonight then have a break for a week. Its such an amazing feeling to know I have a break. Even though i still need to be careful and will still be sick but not to be controlled by pills is a nice feeling.

I received a nice gift and letter from my recently reunited cousin louise. It was a wee tiny angel in a glass heart. It strange as I believe in angels and you may think I am mental but I have seen them when I actually died 3 times in hospital a few years ago. I wont go into that but my friends no what happened. The strange thing about angels is they have no faces. The theory is because they are celestial beings, not dead humans promoted, us humans cant comprehend what they look like. So the gift has a lot meaning to me. Strange how she randomly picked it and thought of me.

Today I have an appetite and been feeling hungry which i have been savouring the feeling of before eating as I forgot what's like and its actually quite pleasurable. Weird eh?

So today I am gonna stuff my face as much as possible. Speaking of which I am gonna sign off and raid the fridge till it's empty.

Today's thought...

Is gluttony really a sin?

peace love and an empty fridge

xxx