Blog No. 23.

well what can I say. I am still feeling fine. I am really surprised. The last time I was at this stage I couldn't do anything on my own. I am now feeling a bit more independent. Maybe I have found my strength again. There is a lot of I stuff I have to accept about like never getting better, but I now feel like I am not going to curl up , but instead live what I have left of my life no matter how long or short that is.

I have been getting re-united with old friends all the time and its nice. But being annoyed by too many people I don't know trying to offer me help like do stuff for me. I REALLY appreciate the thoughts but I am constantly barraged. None the less I love that your thinking of me.

Today I have my cousin Lisa coming to visit me, we are the same age and were so close. She now has a baby and is married and I can't wait to meet the little munchkin.

I am starting to get more positive mainly because I don't feel as ill as the last time. This doesn't mean I have changed my wishes about stopping treatment if I feel its not worth it. I have an amazing weekend to look forward to. Friends up from London and a friend visiting me tomorrow.

I still get the pins and needles and shakes so back on top of the washing machine it is to counter act them so I can type. I have my heat pads on stand by though, but I am missing the air on my face.

My grandfather is still in hospital and wish so much I could visit him. But I don't think I could face seeing him sick. And I cant risk infections as my immune system isn't strong enough to fight back.

Just for today I will be happy. Most folks are as happy as they make up there minds to be.

Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my 'luck' as it comes, and fit myself to it.

My thought for today...

what you going to do to be happy?

Peace love and Pat Ferrari

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