I had to buy earphones for my next DJ gig and bumped into a friend I have not seen for years. We went had a drink and my plan was to go out for drinks with people from London. I ended up getting a bit drunk early on in the day so didn't make it onto to going out. I only had 3 drinks and was sloshed. I mean how cheap have I become these days. Three drinks and I'll be under table.
I am quite gutted I didn't make it out last night and today I feel really tired and quite terrible, exhausted. Maybe I pushed myself to far yesterday, but do you know what? If I didn't what else am I going to do? I am starting to learn the true value of the saying, take each day as it comes.
It's becoming a life lesson for me taking each day as I never know what the next will hold for me, its a hard concept to truly grasp hold of but I am having to. So when I feel like I can do something I am going to do it. I guess it's the small bits I can do that are going to get me through the next few months.
I wish it was all over and I could have a normal life again. Normal to me, no restraints, being free and not having to think about the deep dark psychology of life and the stuff that surrounds it before and after.
It bothers me that I will no longer be anywhere near as free as what I was. I feel like I am becoming a creature of control and comfort. Here do this... sure great.... is how my life seems to be moving these days.
I just want to be me again and not be lost anymore I am trying to find my way but don't where I am trying to find it too...
I guess one day at a time is all I can expect out of life at the moment and that is what I am going to have to abide by.
So my thought of the day is...
Be free and just do it no matter what it is for life and time may pass you by and you could have done nothing at all.
peace love and today