Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Blog No. 39.

Sorry I haven't written for a couple of days its been due to my Internet being down and not me being lazy. I am currently in the hospital starting my third cycle. Today is the intravenous chemo. so four and a half hours of chemicals being pumped into my system. Not fun actually ita the worse part as you cant comfortable, it kind of hurts and its so boring.

I had my check up yesterday and was giving devastating news. They want to give my another 4 cycles of chemo straight after this that's an extra 12 weeks which would mean 30 weeks of chemo. And the longest the cancer will go away for is a year at the most. But more than likely a few months.

The more I have the chemo the more resistant my cancer will become as its genetic. I also have been given 2 to 3 years live. Mind blowing. The reason for this is is because I will stop chemo after these cycles as I cant live I am not living at the moment and the chemo won't give me that much longer anyways.

I feel its useless fighting a loosing battle and unhappy. Who wants to die unhappy certainly not me. I have 3 years to fit everything I want to do into my life. I want to bring people joy and don't want you to cry or be upset because I am at peace with my decision.

Weird eh?

Anyway I am being pumped full horrible chemicals and cant feel my right hand.

My though of the day?

Don't mourn the dead for they are still alive.

Peace love and more peace.


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