I had my check up yesterday and was giving devastating news. They want to give my another 4 cycles of chemo straight after this that's an extra 12 weeks which would mean 30 weeks of chemo. And the longest the cancer will go away for is a year at the most. But more than likely a few months.
The more I have the chemo the more resistant my cancer will become as its genetic. I also have been given 2 to 3 years live. Mind blowing. The reason for this is is because I will stop chemo after these cycles as I cant live I am not living at the moment and the chemo won't give me that much longer anyways.
I feel its useless fighting a loosing battle and unhappy. Who wants to die unhappy certainly not me. I have 3 years to fit everything I want to do into my life. I want to bring people joy and don't want you to cry or be upset because I am at peace with my decision.
Anyway I am being pumped full horrible chemicals and cant feel my right hand.
My though of the day?
Don't mourn the dead for they are still alive.
Peace love and more peace.