Blog No. 36.

OK so I am getting seriously annoyed with this toothache. I went to the dentist he squeezed some of the puss out, but its not as bad although still sore. I have antibiotics and I am annoyed that on my week off chemo and being controlled by pills I have to take antibiotics and feel miserable.

Fed up with the whole lot of it to be honest. I was so looking forward to being able to do something this weekend and now looks like I wont be able to. Fucking mouth. Pardon my french but I am seriously wound up.

I am just so bored of it all. I want it to end. But it just feels like its not going to especially as this could be how I live my life now. Not worth the hassle all this pain, fighting, infections. What kind of life is this.

I wouldn't wish any of this on my worst enemy. It is a living nightmare and 3 months down the line I still keep expecting to wake up from this nightmare. But obviously its real and I won't.

So much of its frustrating even though I am still able to do a little in my life I am not able to fully live my life. You have no idea what its like to have everything you live for snatched away from you I am still grieving my old life.

You can probably tell I have woken up and got out of bed the wrong side. It's just toothache is the worse pain of all as it drags your whole being down and it's the worse thing I could have just now considering my whole system is already down.

I guess I will just have to take some more dihydrocodeine to cheer me up and relieve some pain

so today's thought...

uppers or downers??

peace love and toothache to you all

xx